robertpattindone: look at this picture and tell me i shouldn’t be best friends with robert pattinson:
the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: My sister keeps asking me if I want to go see The Great Cosby with her and I don’t have it in my heart to correct her.
harrytomlomsom: merrytomlomsom: you’ve been pregnant for so long it feels like a maternity im 100% done with this joke
commanderinqueef: cellogirl4life: rnax: drop the cello DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE. holy shit
foreveralone-lyguy: I walked into the kitchen at 5:30am and saw this in the sink… this isn’t my cat
pretty-boy-link: didney-worl-no-uta: I went over to the Yelp! page of Amy’s Baking Company and oh my god NOOSE BURGER when they were describing on what they’re hearing in the kitchen it’s like something from a horror movie lol
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
best-of-funny: mysteryperson1: terezipyrope: terezipyrope: for every note this gets i will drop another rubber duck into the sea 100% legit no joke i’m totally going to do it i swear ive never been more serious in my life this is the most serious a person has ever been about rubber ducks i got impatient Well, we’re screwed.